Saturday, May 3, 2014

Forum Question of the Week #43

Good morning everyone.  Welcome back.  How did it suddenly become May?

We've talked a little bit about openness and whether anyone else knows about our domestic discipline and spanking relationships.  Let's go in the opposite direction a bit.  For those of us who are not "out" to friends, co-workers and family, what are some of the things you do to keep your domestic discipline relationship a secret?

Speaking for my own household:
  • We store all our spanking implements under lock and key.
  • Spankings generally occur in the basement, in a small storage area that has become our equivalent of being "taken to the woodshed".
  • Spankings generally happen late at night, with less chance that anyone might overhear.
  • I have to be careful about where I undress in the gym, and finding a way to get into and out of the showers without anyone seeing by bruised bottom can be a bit of a challenge.
  • I blog about DD, but I use a pseudonym
Let us know what you do to protect the secrecy of your domestic discipline relationship.  And, as always, take a few minutes to fill out the Guestbook and tell us a little about yourself.   

35 comments:

  1. Having dated her for a good year I soon found out a family secret, one I was shocked and one that was to be part of our marriage. I liked to party, stay out late and on a visit to her mother place I met some of her cousins and well I came back to the house in the early morning hours. It was almost noon before I got up and when I stumbled into the kitchen, my girlfriend and her mother were having lunch and just looked at me. I got a cup of coffee and was about to have a sit at the table when her mother looked at me and said we need to talk. Okay I said and this is when I learned the family secret. Her mother scolded me like a child, I could say nothing and then it happened, she told me to stand and slowly did so, my girlfriend said with a slight smile, won't be needed these and my bottom part of my pjs were pulled down and I stood there exposed.
    Step out of them young man her mother said and I did as told, and now get that top off and soon I was naked before my girlfriend and her mother. Then it happened I was across her mother lap and my bare bottom was feeling the sting of her hand, it hurt but I fought showing anything that it was. Soon I could not hold back and was kicking, squirming and then she pulled me to my feet. She looked at her daughter and said we will be back shortly and with a hard spank to my bottom I was taken to the bedroom. She pulled her chair from the vaniety sat down and across her lap I went, only this time she took the hairbrush from the dresser and for the next several minutes I was feeling the sting of the hairbrush. I could be heard very clearly and when we left the bedroom I was rubbing a very warm, stinging bottom, crying and in the kitchen my girlfriend just smiled. In the corner young man I was told and I did, hands on head and stood while the two chatted.
    I to this day receive spankings when I mess up, no one knows about them, except my mother-in-law. The routine is the same, to the bedroom, off with everything, hairbrush soundly applied and corner time.

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    1. We seem to be getting a lot of visits from people whose DD began with a stern mother-in-law. I had no idea that was such a common way for couples to come to this kind of relationship. Thanks for sharing!

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    2. Where I grew up it was very common that spankings were not just given by your parents but if visiting your friends and a spanking was needed, it happened. I dated several girls and I knew that their mother would spank their husbands. The one I choose to marry I let it passed until I messed up and so my mother-in-law wasted little time in addressing the problem. It is not only bad your getting a spanking from this older woman, I was soon without my pajamas bottoms and once done the top was removed. I learned quickly women are not sexually aroused by a naked man, and I learned quickly that a woman bent on giving a spanking will insure you remember and being naked just reminds you that one they are in charge, and you do feel like a naughty little boy during the spanking and while facing the wall afterwards.

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    3. It was the same where I grew up. No one seemed to have any problem with spanking anyone else's kid.

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    4. Different times we lived in. What I wish to add the woman I married is very much ingrained with being a mother. Her Mother taught her that men can be little boys at times, and as little boys can be naughty, spending to much, staying out late with the boys, no being a proper husband. So therefore at times a trip to the bedroom is called for. The spankings are nothing sexual, they are punishment spankings and believe you me my wife knows how to properly warm my bottom. My mother-in-law has stepped in a couple of times when she has visited, seen the results of my wife spankings and feel not enough. At those times I act very much like a little boy, promising to be good, my bottom was spanked soundly, no good, it is over her lap and boy do I remember. My wife has added to the punishment, a bedtime bath, and she baths me like a little boy, my bottom sore from the spanking does not resist, I sit in the tub and given a bath by my wife, dried off, pajamas put on and sent to bed early. So she very much is a Mother and I hate to admit it, but must say I need this time of woman in my life.

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    5. Current events in the world show more and more women are stepping out, showing they can do what a man has done and at times better. I think one would be surprise how many households are run by the wife, girlfriend. As for myself as I mention my spankings are punishment and punishment only. My first spanking from my mother-in-law I was erect as erect one could be, she made a point to show her daughter, and after a sound handspanking she stood me up and showed how the erection was gone, just laying limp, thinking the spanking was over was when the trip to the bedroom occurred and soon I was feeling the sting of the hairbrush. Facing the wall, corner time is mandatory, women like to see the results of their work and also they know the man feels very little standing there. Bathtime is something new, even her mother never did that, but her mother knows about it, agrees with it, and on a couple of occasions watched while I was bath like a child. We still enjoy a strong sexual life, but spankings are not for sex.

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    6. Our kids walked in during one spanking and they must not have been too surprised because they had happened upon my wife's implements. We have been more careful since because we both were embarrassed. We don't know exactly how much they heard because we don't know exactly when they came in and my wife thinks they may have intentianlly made noise so we would hear them. Over the years I have given my wife every detail of her mother's spanking me. Unlike you I never had and erection before during or after. When she stopped strapping me she scolded me more. I didn't hear much as I was trying to compose myself. I had already embarrassed myself by breaking down and begging her to stop. When I stood up my first inclination was to rub my butt and it was all I could do not to jump around, when she left the room I looked in the mirror and was amazed at how red I was . I hid the effects from my wife.that night I squirmed in my chair at dinner with the family, my wife has her own methods and often uses corner time. If I have been insulting she washes my mouth with ivory soap

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    7. My mother-in-law told me it was natural to be erect, but it would soon be gone and it was. Old school spankings always included a scolding, she always bared my bottom, corner time, and if a four letter word came out, soap was applied right after the spanking. The rules are very simple at her home she gives the spankings, at our home my wife. My mother-in-law feels strongly that men are little boys and when they act as such a sound spanking is required, my wife agrees and when she first told me I was going to be given a bath I protested only to have a very sore spanked bottom, talk about squirming in the tub while being bathed, I do not argue or resist anymore.

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    8. To let the cat out of the back, my mother-in-law was not the first woman to spank me, while attending a community college in a small town, and staying with an older women who had a room to rent, I soon learned that when I said I would obey her rules or else, I found out or else. If you wish to know the rest of the story, let me know and I will tell you. But older women do spank and wish they had when they were younger.

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  2. Dan

    Beth, my wife, uses only one paddle to punish me. It hangs in our kitchen on a wall. It is a cutting board that I made for my mom when i was away at summer camp as a pre-teen. It is 10 inches long and 8 inches wide and about 1/4 inch thick. At one end is a handle that has a hole in it
    which still has the leather thong I put on it as a boy.
    Whenever we visited my Mom even before we married she would point out to Beth how I had
    made the cutting board for her. When my folks retired it moved with them to Florida and hung
    still on the wall in the kitchen. I dont think it was ever used.
    Two years ago Beth and I house sat for them while they went to Italy for a few weeks. It was Beth's idea to use it as a perfect way to remind me of my need for a " personality adjustment "
    from time to time. Trust me after one session I was on my best behavior and came to fear that
    cutting board.
    Long story short Beth told my Mom how sweet she thought the board was and my Mom insisted
    she take it home with us. I insisted it stay at Mom's. We returned home and the paddle was forgotten by me at least. That Christmas Mom surprised Beth by giving her the paddle as a gift.
    It now hangs in our kitchen and I stare at it every morning as i have coffee.

    It is now the only thing Beth uses to spank me. I both hate and love it to be honest. Wondering
    if one day when we have kids Beth will break them in with the same paddle.

    Peter B

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  3. Kinda funny. We do not have kids because it just did not happen. But we do have a dog and he stays away when he hearing the spanking noises. When we go to our bedroom we shut the door to the bathroom and our bedroom and then carry on. Most of the spanking is R spanking me, but once in a while she wants one also. And there is nothing quiet about the paddle or belt striking bare bottoms. Dont think tho that our neighbors can hear due to the at least 10-12 foot distance between the homes and they don't sit around the part of the house nearest to ours. So we do have it easier without kids.
    Baxter

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    1. That's great! Never would have thought of the need to hide it from the dogs!

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  4. On the opposite end of the question, we do nothing to hide the activities.
    In our house lives Her, me, Her ex-husband (She is polyamorous) and a 24 year old female boarder. They are quite aware of the spankings She gives me, and have each witnessed more than a few.
    The labrador we had, until she passed away a couple weeks ago, used to growl and attack any paddle that She used on me, so we learned to put her out of the room and close the door.
    The pit bull we still have hides under the bed when such activities begin.
    Our spanking bench is in plain sight in the living room. It is not pointed out to visitors ("Hey, you see that?") but if any ask about it, the truth is told. ("When I think it's necessary, he strips down and kneels on it, and I spank his bottom").
    Neither of us bring up the subject in conversation ourselves (in conversation with vanilla folk) but if the conversation is broached, the truth is told.

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    1. I had a feeling you would respond with a comment that you don't hide anything. :-) So, a few follow-ups, if you will indulge me:

      -- Were you always so free from being embarrassed, or is it a freedom you consciously developed in some way? If so, how?
      -- Are you in a job or career and, if so, do your co-workers know about your lifestyle?
      -- Are you in a city where the culture is fairly tolerant of people's kinks, or are you in the Bible Belt and flouting all conventions, or something in between?

      Do tell. Inquiring minds want to know!

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    2. Well, now, since you asked:

      -- I was utterly ashamed of my spanko desires for, oh, most of my life. When I came out of the closet, so to speak, I did it in a big way, and it was a conscious effort, a decision on my part to think, "what do I care, what other people think of me, about this?"
      It does help to be a member of the Fetlife community, where nobody passes judgment on anybody else's kinks.
      -- I work 40 hours a week (squeezed into three long shifts, Sunday Monday Tuesday) evening/graveyard, for a limo company, so for half of any given shift, I am alone in my office.
      I wear a necklace around my neck that is the collar my wife/Mistress gave me.
      One female chauffeur commented on how nice it looks, and I said, "Yes, it's the slave collar my wife gave me," and she just ... laughed.
      Otherwise, nobody at work knows, simply because they haven't asked the right questions.
      -- Los Angeles! ANYthing goes!

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    3. I would have guessed San Francisco, but LA is probably only slightly less hospitable to open kinkiness.

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    4. Trust me... only SLIGHTLY less, if at all, less hospitable than SF.

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  5. Two months after our wedding, we spent four days or so at my parents' house, some 1900 miles away.
    It was my birthday, and sitting around in the kitchen/dining room on my birthday, Merry suggested with a sly twinkle in her eye, "Shall we give him, a birthday spanking?"
    Mom said, quite seriously, "Oh no..."
    Merry asked, "Why not?"
    Mom answered, "The last time I told him I was going to spank him, he looked at me square in the eye and said, 'Just ...try.' So, I don't think so..."
    Merry smiled, and just let it drop, while I continued sitting there, with a very straight face.
    So, any conversation about just how often Merry spanks me did NOT happen.
    Meanwhile, during our stay there, we managed to find time, in the privacy of our guest bedroom, in a part of the house furthest away from the kitchen and living room, for twice a day spankings, and three on my birthday.

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    1. So, do you hide your activities from your parents now?

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    2. We returned home from that trip without them knowing
      ( I assume without them knowing, they might have heard us, and just not said anything)
      And we correspond by email daily, but since there's been no reason to write about the activities, I have not done so.

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  6. Well our kids are grown and out of the house. My wife started DD after the last child was gone.
    My wife only uses an oversized ping pong paddle – so it is in plain site on the mantle … not unusual since we have several paddles and balls for the pp table.
    My spankings always occur in our bedroom – but can occur at any time of the day. After she explains my rule violation or misconduct, I am usually told to “go up and get prepared for your punishment”. I have to await her arrival totally naked. I never know whether she will put me over her knee, over the bed or leave me standing for my spanking. And as has been said … even if I have an erection, there is no sex or sexual aspect to my spanking – its punishment. I’m also very aware to not let anyone see my spanked rear-end at the gym or spa.

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    1. Thanks for the contribution. Seems to be a lot of people who get around the hiding problem by using common household items.

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  7. Hi Dan! Its Susie. I don't have any little ones at home. My children are all out of the house. We have furbabies but they can't talk, and they don't judge either.

    We don't discuss spanking with people we know, but I will sometimes tease him in front of people. I think it keeps him in line and on edge in a good way. I have told a girlfriend or two about my spanking him and even showed them my paddle assortment. They laughed but I think they think I'm joking. Maybe one day soon I'll show them how to handle an unruly man that acts like a little boy.

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    1. Hey Susie! It's hard to imagine they think you're joking if you showed them your paddle assortment. More likely, they're laughing nervously, afraid you might use it on THEM. ;-)

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  8. I think we both tried to keep it a secret, my mother -in-law found out by accident and my wife told her BF, I do not think anyone else knew back then.

    TK

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    1. If you wouldn't mind sharing, how did your mother-in-law find out?

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    2. My wife had been disciplining me for more then 3 years and we got careless and left the garage door open and she came in thru door. She had been tot he farmers market and some of it by our home. She only lived about 2 miles away.

      TK

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    3. That must have been truly mortifying.

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    4. I did everything I could not to be around when she was coming over, it was several weeks before we were together, nothing was said but I felt sure she was thinking about it. I found out that my wife had been telling her BFF about it from the start and that she started talking to her mother about it after this happen.

      TK

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  9. A general comment on mother-in-law spankings, most older women have gotten to the point that they have held back at a younger age, now do what they should have done back then and that is give a spanking, and believe you me, the older women will spank you like nothing you have had before.

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  10. With concern that I will bore readers with more comments on this topic this will be my last post about this. This blog has been very helpful in finding others who have shared their experiences. For decades I repressed my experience and my response to it thinking I might be really alone. My mother in law is gone now but the memory is still fresh all thesis years later. While she spankec me only once on several occasions she made comments about spanking and a few times she asked me in private if I wanted another "taste" of her strap, I surely did not. I did over the years get accounts from her other kids of their experiences of spankings from their mom and they all said when she got hold of them it was something they would feel for days. The boys were treated differently as she sometimes made them cut a switch and made them stand pants down for a long time showing the switch marks. The girls mentioned the strap she used on me and they said if she went toward the drawer where she kept the strap they all knew they wouldn't sit well for a while. This kind of maternal discipline was not unusual 40 years ago.it was a long time before I could reconcile my excepting albeit reluctantly the spanking she gave me, in some way I deserved it.

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  11. Bart this is Susie: Please don't stop! You are NOT at all boring, and I find you and the others to be fascinating.

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  12. I am concerned about distracting readers who find no fascination in younger men being really disciplined by older women. I did find solace in seeing the stories of other men spanked by their mothersin law. It seemed like the others might be from England where there is for sure a very long history of spanking

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  13. My mother-in-law died shortly after we were married, but it seems she was in the habit of disciplining her (late) husband... which may explain why her daughter (my wife!) felt entitled to deal in the same way with any misbehavior on my part. In fact, when she sold (and emptied) her mother's house, one of the items she retrieved was an old rattan cane that had apparently been used many times before - and which she likes to apply to my backside on "special occasions" (in addition, of course, to her several other "tools")...

    L.

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