Saturday, October 12, 2013

The Forum - Ladies Night

Hello all.  I hope you had a good week.

First, I want to experiment with highlighting particularly interesting topic responses.  Last week's question was about contracts.  I thought this anonymous post was particularly insightful and interesting:

"A contract works for some couples some of the time especially in the beginning of DD. But I think of them now as “training wheels” useful at the start of DD to define roles and give necessary structure. But if a contact is carried on too far or too long it keeps the relationship from growing and adapting. We did use an oral contract in the beginning but within a few months found it to be artificial and not in the real spirit of DD. It’s a kind of crutch you use to get started but should grow out of. For us the only contract now is that my wife is in total authority and decides when where and how discipline is administered for any reason she finds necessary using any instrument she thinks appropriate. She is adamant in stressing no limits on her authority to spank and nothing gets me in trouble faster that when she thinks I am challenging her authority. None of that would work if we tried to live by a formal contract."

I also wanted to try something a little different for this week's Forum.   Let's hear something, anything from the Ladies.  Tell us something about your DD relationship, whether you are the Head of Household or the Disciplined Wife.  If you're not in a DD relationship, tell us why you're interested in the lifestyle (assuming you are).  What does DD do for you?  How did you get into it? What more would you like to explore?  Gentlemen, please beg and plead with the Disciplinarian in your life to take a few minutes to tell us what she likes about putting you over her knee!

I put this topic out there, knowing that it could be a total flop, given that the statistics in the ongoing poll on this blog indicate that the rate of male to female visitors is probably at least 10:1.  But, let's give it a shot.

10 comments:

  1. I know you asked for women to comment but my wife Irene rarely looks at this kind of stuff on the internet.

    For Irene, it is mostly sexual. Disciplining me turns her on. She likes to spank/whip/paddle me, put a butt plug in my bottom, tie me up and leave me for 30-45 minutes or so. The she'll return, thrash me again and sit on top so I can perform reverse cowgirl cunnilingus. Then she will want me insider her.

    We do vary the routine a bit but often follow what I have just described above. She'll joke and threaten spankings, and occasionally deliver them, when I don't do chores etc., but not in a very serious way.

    She does not dress us much publicly but likes to wear various outfits in the bedroom and adopts a number of personas when she disciplines me. The discipline is almost always intense and tough to take at times, but pretty much ends in sex becuase that is what she wnts.

    ReplyDelete
  2. My wife is like Irene in not spending much time reading spanking forums. But she couldn’t be more different in the reasons she spanks. She gets no as in zero sexual thrill out of spanking me, but does believe very much in spanking as a healthy form of discipline appropriate when it is accepted and needed because of misbehavior. But sex doesn’t enter into it for her and actually there is no sex for me at least 24 hours after discipline which she considers part of my punishment. She has acknowledged that spanking me makes her trust me more and feel closer to me and that indirectly that sometimes leads to future sex but that never happens right after a spanking and she has told me that sex with a naught little boy is the last thing she ever wants.

    ReplyDelete
  3. My spouse does not use the internet for these purposes. Her disciplining me is something that she grew to enjoy over time, but it is very personal. She likes having her big bad boy with his bottom bared, but we always have conventional relations shortly thereafter.

    ReplyDelete
  4. My pet begged me to write to you. He was a perfect pet this weekend and therefore i agreed. I do not read your blog but have now and then glanced at it.
    Pet and I have been married ten years. We are both 32.
    He is the only child of a very domineering woman. I felt when we met and married that I would be an alternative to the strict rules he had grown up with and so often complained about.

    It proved to be too much freedom. He began drinking and behaving in an unreliable manner. i was ready to divorce him. It was at this point when
    by chance his mother came to visit. The very first nite she was there he came home 3 hours late and it was obvious he had been drinking. I was furious and
    embarrassed.

    That nite his mother told me I needed to enforce rules and consequences . Without asking she yelled up to her son. He came down at once docile and very
    nervous. Without saying a word to me she ordered him to remove his belt he did and handed it to her.
    None of his usual cursing He became a boy. She used his belt on his ass then had him remove his slacks and continued till his bottom was beet red.
    He was then ordered to stand in corner of kitchen while she told me this was how to bring back the
    sweet boy i had married.

    That was seven years ago. Now it is I who administer the punishment. I realized a few years ago that there was an arousal factor for my husband when spanked. Now when I want to punish him I insist he
    masturbate. Immediately following his release he is then spanked. It is then it makes an impression on him,

    ReplyDelete
  5. I came across your site by accident,when my husband was stupid enough not to delete the history on our P C.Since we married I have used spanking as a means of maintaining control.I started to spank him on our wedding night.He was told to go to the bathroom and put on a pair of pyjamas,and wait for me to call him.I put on a full length nightie,and summoned him into the bedroom.He was told this was how our marriage would be run.I told him to lie face down on the bed.He was told he was to get fifty strokes of the cane,and I was going to pull his bottoms down and give them on his bare.After I finished his bottom was red raw and covered in stripes.I told him he wasn't going to have sex until I was ready to have children,which would. be several years,,as I was not interested in sex.We now have two children,but he still has regular spankings.I keep a punishment diary,to record his misbehaviour,which forms the basis of how severe his Friday night caning will be.
    I have decided that he can have brief no frills sex four times a year,birthday,wedding anniversary,Xmas day and New Years day.
    Needless to say,he has been told that this Xmas and New Year are out of the question..He will getting an extra caning tonight,for his misbehaviour,as well as Friday.

    ReplyDelete
  6. As I am the one in charge of our relationship, I am dictating while my naughty spoilt brat of a husband does the typing. We have been married 15 years after a 3 year courtship. My husband was an only child and when we first met I noticed he always wanted to get his own way and would sulk if he didn't get it. I'm 3 years older than him and grew up in a catholic family of 5 children and received numerous spankings from my parents and grandmother growing up. After about a year of putting up with my then boyfriend's spoilt brat behaviour I decided that if our relationship was going to last I needed to introduce some discipline into his life. His first spanking came when we were on holidays in a cabin in the mountains. Once again he started sulking when he didn't get his way and I had enough. I told him that he was a spoilt brat and that I had decided I was going to give him a spanking. He said that he had never been spanked in his life and that I wouldn't dare spank him. Pulling my hairbrush out of my handbag I told him either he accept the punishment that he richly deserved and that was long overdue or he could spend the rest of the holiday in the second bedroom with no sex. Considering how domestic discipline has played such a big part in our lives it is strange how it began and how reluctant he was to be spanked. I decided that I needed to set a firm standard from the beginning so the spanking was a very hard and long over the knee bare bottom hairbrush spanking that turned his bottom very bright red and had him begging me to stop and promising that he would behave himself. Over the years we have developed a very good and functional discipline system. Every morning I apply six strokes of my wooden paddle (that hangs in the kitchen) to his bare bottom. Sunday nights I administer the weekly maintenance spanking which consists of both hand and hairbrush. All other spankings, paddlings, strappings or canings occur how and when I see fit. If he has done something that I rate as 'real punishment' spanking I insist that he masturbates and ejaculates immediately before the spanking as I want him really suffer the pain and consequences of his misbehaviour. We lead a very happy life together and my husband admits that I have really made up for all the spankings he didn't get as a child. We include role play spankings as part of sex life as well which we both enjoy greatly.

    ReplyDelete
  7. What is up with some of these women?They are too soft,when ,i cane my husband,which is quite often,and always severely,the last thing he would be allowed would,be allowed would be sex or masturbation.He would be sent to the spare room.He knows not to masturbate,as I have told him that if I see any evidence,he will be fitted with a chastity device.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I spank my husband for real offenses only and they are usually major offenses and not petty stuff. I have to do it about every two months but he remembers every one of them. My mom spanked my brothers and I always suspected my dad so I grew up in a home where a male bottom turned up over a ladies lap was not rare. I think it’s healthy and natural for women to discipline men and if you are lucky enough to be married to a man who accepts it why wouldn’t you do it.

    What I get out of it is a usually well-mannered considerate partner and the satisfaction I have corrected behavior that is as harmful to him as it is irritating to me. I also enjoy the sense of power I have to make him obey me. We are equal in most other ways except discipline which is my domain. When it comes to discipline he does what I tell him when I tell him including some things he finds very embarrassing. I love that power when I use it and frankly I think he does too..

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hi is Ann and am 50 years old,I have been married for over 25 years.Before our marriage I made it clear that I was going to be in complete charge.On our wedding night I introduced my husband to my special bag,which I would. Use to keep him in control.My bag contains 2 canes,one thin and wholly,one thick and heavy,a leather soles slipper,a thick 3 tailed these,and best of all,a heavy leather riding crop.
    IN addition in my bag I Have a razor,shaving cream (For obvious hygiene reasons).I also have a length of rubber tube,a funnel and liquid soap,for disciplinary enemas.
    This bag has been used regularly over the years,and will continue to be.,z tax-free

    ReplyDelete
  10. I am a wife who has been regularly caning her husband for 30 years, for both maintenance and punishment. He is more of the alpha male take charge type which is good in many situations but can create problems where both parties have strong personalities. He is most usually caned for being grouchy, which I think is often brought about by stress and maybe depression. Following a sound caning from the woman who knows him best and knows what is best for both him and our marriage, he is much calmer, more contrite and loving with a more cheerful disposition in general and tensions are reduced greatly on both sides.
    I always cane hard, as this will help create the necessary anticipation and fear when he knows he is due for my cane, as a lot of it is in the mind as well as the bottom. Anticipation and ritual are important. I tell him things like how sore his bottom is going to be and how much I am looking forward to seeing it all red and nicely striped. He gets turned on when I tell him to go and wait for me in the spanking room (actually a spare bedroom). Another trick I use, is to practice caning a cushion in the next room while he is waiting for me, being out of sight really builds up the apprehension when he hears the swish of the cane as it lands on the cushion as he can imaging how it is soon going to feel on his own bare bottom, probably a bit like naughty boys would feel as they waited outside their headmaster's study waiting their turn to be caned. When I come into him I can tell how excited and apprehensive he is. I will admonish him for his moods and remind him that the glass is half full and he has a lot to be thankful for and that every time he sits down he is goiung to be reminded. I will tell him things like, "you've been a naughty boy and what happens to naughty boys? I f he says he does not know I will tell him that they have their bare bottoms caned, now bend over the spanking chair. I usually give him a couple of strokes across his underpants and then tell him that the rest is going to be on his bare bottom, and ask him to lower his underpants for me. By now he knows the rules that he has to present his bottom properly and he is not allowed to clench his cheeks, nor get up without permission. If he clenches those cheeks I will give him a sharp crack on the top of his thighs as clenched cheeks reduce the size of the target area and his bottom isn't that big to begin with that I can place all the strokes that he needs. Then comes the part he really does not like but knows it is necessary. His erection disappears as his mind concentrates on the next stroke and wonders why is is submitting in the first place. When I am satisfied with my work we will hug each other which often will lead to great sex. All this was once considered kinky but it seems that since the advent of the internet that is no longer the case. Regardless of all that it has helped keep us close to each other and created feelings of mutual bonding which are hard to put into words.
    SusanR
    Surrey

    ReplyDelete

Your comment will posted if/when approved by the moderator. This blog is a curated resource for those genuinely and positively interested in DD and FLR lifestyles. Comments that are rude, uncivil, inconsistent with the blog's theme or off-topic may not be posted or may be removed.